Today is Monday and it was a o.k. weekend. I still working on my life and trying to understand how to deal with myself . And I got allot of growing to do and not be so stubborn. All I'm doing is hurting myself or better way of saying it is killing myself. And I'm going to the V.A. on Tuesday,Thursday, and Friday. And I go to classes up there. And they are about self esteem, conflicts me little while more to get it. But some times I just don't understand why people can be so evil or what the #$%^ they are thinking when they go out of there way to hurt a person. And they just talk like they are right and if you do it a different way its wrong. I've got allot of growing up to do and if I make a mistake I will have to take it like a grown up. And do OK in dilling with my mistakes but the people will not let me live it down on my mistakes. I believe the Lord would let me know one way or a nether about my mistakes. There is so many perigees people and some is about color and allot is because you don't what ever one wants you to do. The Lord gave each of us a brain to think from and I'm trying to grow up and I may not think like ever one Else's but I don't lie and I don't try to hurt anyone. Or go out of my way to hurt someone. Because I may have something they wont and they think I didn't deserve it . They don't what I had gown throw to get what I got and they get very evil about. And I don't understand now of days people get very ugly and it does bother them. But then again they just need to talk to each other and instead of talking about each other it may be allot better world if they can be on est to each other.

CHANGES IN LIFE

Give me a understanding of what people do to people. Some times I think that people was raised differently or raised on a different planet. But he was talking to me and I was unpressed with his way of thinking. He got away about what he said that made me see and think about it. I still got a lot of learning and growing to do. And we are all going to think differently and we all got are own brain that god gave us. And I think we learn a little from some one all the time. If people listen to each other and not jug each other because we are all raised differently. And some people learn things in certain ways and some of them are not the right way. And it's nice to have people inform me on a different way of thinking. I would not have thought of that if I didn't talk to him. I think if people just listen to each other more we maybe a better group of gods children. I'm really enjoying meeting people and going to school to learn in my class and learning from other students. I'm a little bit older than most of these young students and there is still some good kids now of days.

I'm starting on trying to understand a little bit about my depression. I will let people get at me when I should not let people get at me. If people don't like me just leave me along. It's up to the LORD and myself. I go to a doctor every week and I'm trying to understand why I down my self. People are all the same. We all make mistakes and the Lord gives us another chance. Sometimes we don't think right but that is the Lords designate what needs to be done to me. My family thinks they can just tell people know about my problems and that will help me. That just hurts me more and makes me very angry and depressed. I've got allot of growing up to do. But I'm a adult now and my mother or sister needs to try to stop controlling me. We all have feelings and a brain to think with so why do my family think they are wright on whet they are doing.